Blogging. Every day. That’s hard. I’ve missed a couple days (no prizes for me). But I enjoy the challenge. I really do love writing. I have since middle school (that I can remember). I wish I had more time to blog. Hell, I wish I had more time to think.
My life right now revolves around my full-time job stress (and how much longer I will mentally make it here); working for Philsquare; developing cool newsletters for Lisa; organizing and planning troop meetings and events for a Girl Scout troop; and living with Phil and getting the house sorted out (still – it’s a big house).
Sometimes (when I have a minute to think) I’m wondering if I’m doing it all right. Should I be working 50 or 55 hours a week? Should I stay in a job in which my meeting notes involve writing “GIVING UP”? As in I’m giving up arguing or trying to change things BECAUSE WHAT’S THE POINT. Seriously, even somewhat level-headed people would scream after knowing the absolute ridiculous things that go on at this University. Should I be spending 5 hours a week volunteering with a Girl Scout troop? None of the girls in the troop are MY daughters (I don’t have any kids).
The working extra is paying off more of my bills which helps that particular stress but then has me considering hiring someone to clean the house because there is just no time for that while working and doing so much.
I don’t work 90 hours a week. I don’t even work as much as some of the people in my office (I refuse to work more than 40 when I don’t get overtime and we’re being overloaded with work while most of us haven’t gotten raises in THREE YEARS). And, mostly, I just don’t care anymore.
I want to spend more of my time reading a book. Or doing yoga and pilates. Or WRITING. Writing. I can’t be creative. Is this post even organized well? Probably not.
I’m working hard now in hopes of being able to enjoy life MORE later. But I don’t feel that’s the right thing to do. But even if I had more time right now, I can’t afford to take a vacation every other month or pay for yoga five times a week. I’ve just got to accept the sacrifices now in the hope of a preferred lifestyle later.
I guess that’s what life is all about?